Monday, June 16, 2008

Traumatised

The worst exam ever. My mind was totally blanked when they shouted "15 min left". My hands trembled and i could hardly write anything. My words are like "cakar ayam".

There are about 25 pages of questions and we were given 3 hours only. And what the beep! The standard was not even similar to the practice exams. It was way harder. I blanked so many pages. And one 15 mark question!! I finally figured out how to do it but time's up!! I know the others too, did not finish. Maybe 90% of the class, the 10% are the geniuses. But even if they scaled it, I doubt that i can pass.

Totally in shock. Could not react at first. I did not know how should i react. The only thing that came into my mind was that I probably have to repeat next year. Medsci is just tomorrow morning. Should I just give it up? I thought of it. But I know i can't, and i won't.

How I wish i could be more emotional. I wanted to run and scream on the way back, since it was raining. I wanted to cry. Neither did I. I just had a shower and went to have dinner with the rest. Sad.

Felt sorry. How should i tell my parents? I know they won't blame nor scold me. But they'll be so disappointed, so sad inside. Sorry.

I wish tomorrow's exam will be fine. Shouldn't be such a pessimist. Lord, do be with me.


Just do the best that you can
Let Him do the rest
And have faith in Him

5 comments:

Steve W. said...

Just dropping by to tell you that, you're not alone in this.

I experienced the exact same thing last year, even in the beginning of this year. I was demoralized to the core. But then i thought, yea it was definitely tough, and though i did screw it, it was just a another experience-gaining session. Things don't always turn out right.

I don't know when u'll be seeing this, but i hope u'll relax for tml's paper. Breathe in deep before the exam hall door, and stride in. Do whatever u can and kick ass!

Jia you!

Vivian said...

Thanks! Finished my last paper today.. It's better than yesterday's haha...

yay!! it's holiday again~

Anonymous said...

jia you larh~~ you can d..Lord will always be with you d mah! =)

p!G(-(oo)-)Pig said...

haha..i experienced the same thing for my legal exam too...
guess u got read about it in my blog...haa...
too bad i had to say bye bye to my hope which is to get high distinction for all units...haizz...

but nvmla..since it pass ordy...
let's enjoy our holiday together..=)

Vivian said...

Thanks Irene!!

LM enjoy ur holidays too~~ I'm trying to get good rest now but family is here and im still busy bringing them around... haiz.. holiday seems to be even tiring for me... lol